Since my husband and I work near each other, we ride together to work when our schedules permit. I enjoy the “extra” quality time with him, I can hold his hand or have an adult conversation. Yet, this particular morning, I was very quite during our ride to work. The only conversation I had was with the Lord, so I prayed about what was bothering me. I was silently resenting my husband for neglecting to acknowledge or assist me with all the daily responsibilities in our lives. Besides working part-time, operating our finances, raising three children, starting our ministry, working in the church and our daily household responsibilities I felt so alone.
Where was he?
Why can’t he just open his eyes to see I am stretched to thin? When is he going to wake up? As the questions plagued my heart, I could only visualize standing alone tossing all the balls in the air and starting to feel exhausted with all the energies quickly evaporating from my life.
As we exchanged good-byes and a kiss, I had to place my feelings aside because I was starting work. So, I tossed my keys upon the desk, placed my cell-phone down, and started my routine at work. Although the work routine keep my mind busy; my heart was truly aching. As all the plaguing questions filtered my mind, I couldn’t help but wonder if my husband cared for me. My husband has always told me, “I love you.” So, I have never doubted his feelings towards me but I yearned for more.
At that particular moment, I really need reassurance because I felt worthless or as a failure as a wife. Although I didn’t tell my husband, I had expressed it to God.
Now, I am not advising to ignore our feelings in marriage or important issues, we have to communicate with each other. We must have solid communication but it’s developed as the couple learns to become one. Women and men don’t communicate the same, although we speak the same language. When Ryan and I got married, he had to learn that “his tone” was communicating differently than his words. When I felt his tone was harsh or difficult, I wouldn’t talk. So, he would get more frustrated because I wouldn’t share my thoughts or feelings but I felt he had enough for the both of us. Well, I can honestly say our communication skills have dramatically improved in our marriage but I expected Ryan to “read my mind” on the ride to work. Aw, don’t shake your head at me, we all have done it. We expect our spouse to “read our mind” or he should get the hint as I angrily bang the pots and pans in the kitchen.
Surprisingly, I heard my cell-phone chime with a new message from someone. So, I walked casually to my desk to see who sent it. I was delighted to see a text message from “Sexy” (my husband’s nick-name on my phone). As I sat down to look at it, my heart gasped with astonishment. Tears swelled into my eyes as I read the message from him. The message said, “Prov. 31:29-31….Love you! Hope you have a blessed day for I am blessed to be with you!” I read it twice with such bewilderment and delight because God not only heard my heart’s cry but he used the most precious person to met the need. I texted my husband back, “You truly have no idea how much this meant.”
Encouraging words are more valuable than gold or precious jewels for bring a soul alive! Love doesn’t always have to come with a fancy bow; it just has to come from the heart. God truly used my husband to express a deep desire of my heart-I wanted to be valued in his eyes of my beloved. However, it caused me to turn the table to myself in my marriage. “Do I acknowledge his hard work?” “How can I encourage my husband on a daily basis?” Also, it reminded me how precious encouraging words can be.
“Reckless words pierce like a sword but words of the wise brings healing.” –Proverbs 12:18
Daily thought: Who do you think has the most power to influence the heart of your husband? It’s you!
Daily challenge: Find some way to encourage your spouse today with your words! Make sure it’s with eye contact and a smile.
Tina Wetor has been married to her college sweetheart for almost 17 years. They have there children who challenge them to live a legacy for God. Tina is a certified minister with the Assemblies of God and works in her local church.