Two wrongs don’t make a right.
I’ve heard that saying for most of my life and I know that it’s true.
However, there was a time in my marriage when I acted like exactly the opposite was true. I found myself reacting to behavior by Robert that I deemed “wrong” by wrong behavior of my own.
Call it what you will: retaliation, retribution, revenge, reprisal, repayment, counterattack.
It wasn’t pretty and it didn’t yield good results. In fact, I was slowly tearing my marriage apart with my behavior.
As long as I set myself up as the judge concerning Robert’s behavior and used it to justify my own actions, our marriage was going nowhere fast.
Proverbs 14:1 says it this way:
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
This type of vengeful behavior wasn’t something I had ever done in other relationships. In fact, before I was married, I considered myself (and was considered by others) to be a pretty easy-going, peace-making kind of girl. I didn’t have a lot of drama in my life. Robert had no indication that I was going to have those kind of thoughts or behaviors after we said, “I do.”
What happened? Don’t get me wrong…it was all very subtle and probably imperceptible to most people who knew us. (Or maybe I’m just deluded!)
I was foolish! I was giving in to the lies of the enemy of my soul. Marriage uncovered this part of my sinful nature that hadn’t really been unveiled before because it hadn’t had the right conditions to be exposed.
How grateful I am that God got a hold of me!
He showed me this verse in Proverbs and revealed my wrong behavior to me. I wept and repented and asked for the Lord to teach me how I was supposed to act.
That was a turning point for me. That was where the teaching concerning a wife’s submission to her husband began.
The Lord gave me wisdom in how to respond to my husband’s behavior that I considered wrong: submit to him as unto the Lord, then go to the Lord in prayer and trust Him to take work it out in our hearts.
I am so pleased to report that God has been supremely faithful to us in this. He has worked out countless situations where we have had a difference of opinion or ways of approaching decisions. In fact, the Lord has drawn us closer to Himself and each other and after twenty-two years of marriage, we have very few differences of opinion about how to handle the situations we face. Maybe that’s because we have allowed the Lord to renew our minds, change our thoughts, and have submitted to the wisdom that only comes from God. We are no longer seeking to do things our own way, but to do things God’s way.
I want to encourage you today to submit to God and submit to your husband. Trust God to make things right…because He will!
With love and prayers,
Rebecca
image via Pinterest
I believe in submitting to my husband, also. I further believe that I must always let my husband know what I am feeling and how I am thinking. This doesn’t need to be a shouting match–just a simple, “I feel…because….” When I began to pray over submission and communication, my marriage became stronger. My husband understands my thinking, which brings us closer to each other and the Lord. Before, I believed that my husband should “know” my feelings, but learned that “he had not a clue.” Becoming educated about your spouse, brings more light and love into the relationship. In fact, knowing how your spouse thinks will help in the workplace, church, etc. He will have an awareness of how his co-workers think and feel. Connecting with my husband and rekindling our “friendship” has been a blessing. ~Cynthia