Recently I have had the pleasure of speaking with a variety of women who have many more years of life experience than I do. Those conversations have turned to marriage, even when I don’t mention what I do here at The Imperfect Wives.
These women who have lived well and faithfully with their husbands have had the same piece of advice for me:
Love your husband!
Don’t take even one day with him for granted!
Two of these women have husbands who have passed away. They said these words with tears in their eyes as they recalled beautiful memories of a life lived with their beloved. It ended all too soon.
We’ve all heard the quote, “No one lies on their death bed wishing they had spent more time at work,” and we can agree with that.
I would venture to say that these precious women would say that no one watches their husband die without thinking that there are things they would do differently if given a few more days, weeks, months, or years. Or maybe they’d like to go back and change some of what they did or didn’t do.
The saying goes, “Hindsight is 20/20.” There’s a reason it’s a commonly-repeated saying: it’s true.
With the perspective of time and experience, we can reflect back on choices we’ve made and see how we could make adjustments to get a more desirable result.
These wonderful women felt compelled to share the gift of their 20/20 hindsight with me. And I am so glad that they did!
I do my very best to love Robert well…lavishly and extravagantly…every single day. But the truth of the matter is this: sometimes life just gets in the way. Schedules, children, work, household responsibilities, hobbies, friends, and more all conspire to draw our attention away from our primary human relationship: our marriage.
So what’s a girl to do?
Stop looking at life through your little bitty magnifying glass, where you look at the smallest details of everything that needs to be done. Instead, pull back so you can have a panoramic view of the length and breadth of your life.
Five years from now, it probably won’t matter if you went to bed every single night with a spotless kitchen and no laundry waiting to be folded. And you know it definitely won’t matter ten or twenty years from now.
But…five years from now, your husband will remember the regular, habitual things you do to lavish your love upon him. And he will remember the special, romantic evenings that you spent together alone while the kids were tucked safely in bed a little early (or the nights you snuck off to be alone together while your teenagers did their own thing!).
We’ve got choices to make.
Do you love a good love story? If you’ve known me very long, you know I do!
I love the romantic notion of two hearts connecting despite the trials thrown at them by life.
I love to hear people’s love stories…how God brought them together and created something beautiful and unique between them, maybe even before they had given their hearts completely to Him. (I just love God’s heart for us…you know, romance is His idea!)
As women share their love stories with me, I see that special look in their eyes, as they allow themselves to reminisce about the tender beginnings of the romance with the man who became their husband.
Dreamy.
Soft.
Melt-y. (Yes, I know it’s not a real word. Humor me!)
That look is mentioned in Song of Solomon 4:9,
“…you have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captured my heart with one glance of your eyes…”
Today, ask God to remind you of the feelings that evoke that look in your eyes. Share that look with your husband. And begin to create more memories that will last a lifetime.
With love and prayers,
Rebecca
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