True Love Tuesday

Do you remember the way you felt when you were falling in love with your beloved?

Do you remember the way you talked about him when he wasn’t around? And how you counted the hours until you could be together again?

Did you love everything about him? And maybe feel like he’d turned your whole world upside down in the very best possible way?

Do you remember thinking that there was no way you could live without him? And how you couldn’t wait until you were married so you didn’t have to say good-bye at the end of the evening?

Those positive thoughts and feelings provided the right environment for more positive thoughts and feelings, both in yourself and in your sweetheart.

Then the reality of daily life crept in.

And you “lost that loving feeling” {at least a little bit at times}?

Other emotions began to creep in and without even noticing it, your attitude shifted. That man whom you adored was now the one making your life so difficult and challenging, and you were calling your friends to complain about him instead of telling them how wonderful he is.

Have you had that experience? I’m sorry to admit it, but I have. (I think it’s pretty common…I know many couples who’ve experienced this same phenomenon.)

Feelings are mercurial. They change as easily as the temperature.

The good news is: that’s good news!

You can change the “thermostat” in your relationship fairly easily with some deliberate changes to your thinking.

Once you change your thinking, it is possible to change your words and your actions.

Let me share a little secret with you: I’ve done this.

Now, I’m not trying to tell you that I’m perfect at this, but I can say that the overall temperature in our marriage has changed. It’s consistently more loving, positive and calm, even in the face of difficulty.

I began a calculated campaign of saying very positive things to Robert, telling him how much I love him, how I admire him and specific things he does, finding ways to show him how much I appreciate him.

{Reality check: Sometimes life throws some very hard things our way and we’ve slipped. But back to the good news…resetting the thermostat gets things back where we want them pretty quickly.}

Now some of you might say that smacks of manipulation or that somehow I am being “fake.”

But, honestly, I believe that I am simply doing what Paul exhorts us to do in Philippians 4:8.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

So today, find those things about your man that fit in with what you should be thinking about.

Then think them. And say them. Repeat.

I think you’ll see the temperature start to change in your marriage, too. (It gets easier with practice…just like developing any new habit!)

Thinking about the good things,

Rebecca

P.S. Enjoy the song. It’s a blast from the past!