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The Consuming Fire of Forgiveness - Cherie Zack | Fighting For Your Marriage
All week long I’ve had the topic of my post planned. I’ve mentally written it a few times, editing along the way.

It was going to be light-hearted, I was going to tattle on myself. There was a good chance you were going to laugh at me. At least it was what I hoped.

I sat down Wednesday morning ready to type. And instead, God told me to do this:!/event.php?eid=190137971049879

I planned to come home after church and type my post.

And then. . . He spoke to me in such a way in church, telling me I had to change gears completely.

He clearly told me that there were some wives, dealing with wounds right now, that needed to read this message.

I preface my post with this story so you can see how God will move heaven and earth if He has to, to get you a word, because He adores you that much.

Image: Danilo Rizzuti /’>″>Image: Danilo Rizzuti /

Forgiveness is the final form of love.
Reinhold Niebuhr
Each one of us have people in our lives who can offend and hurt us like no other. For most of us, that list includes our husbands.

Isn’t it funny how the people we love the most can hurt us the best?

There are many wives who are walking wounded.

Women whose hearts need to be filled with grace and mercy rather than the bondage of bitterness and unforgiveness.

“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against
anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.”  
Mark 11:25

But he doesn’t deserve it, you argue.  He has hurt you.  He was wrong. 

And in some of these situations you are right. He has hurt you and he was wrong.

But you see, you and I do not deserve forgiveness any more than he does.

None of us deserve forgiveness.

He has not called us to forgive only those who deserve it.

Instead He has called us to: be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

God knows your hurts, frustrations and tears.

And yet, He has still called you to forgive.

Not because He doesn’t care about your hurt, but because He cares so much more for your character, your spirit and your marriage.

Ladies, this week He has a challenge for you.

I believe He has been speaking to some of you about forgiveness, will you heed His call? Surrender your pain and trade it for the promise His glory.

I also present a challenge this week:

I want you to get your Bible, paper and an envelope, pen and a pack of tissues. Find a quiet, very secluded spot and I want you to write your husband a letter. I want you to tell him that he’s hurt you. I want you to share how his words, decisions, lack of affection, addictions, etc. make you feel. I want you to list the offenses one by one if necessary. I want you to write until your heart is empty. Then I want you to take your letter and seal it in the envelope. I want you pray over this letter. Pray for forgiveness to flood your heart. Pray for mercy and grace to replace the hurt. Pray until you feel the hurt completely released. And then (this is where I beg you please do not deviate from the challenge) I want you to burn the letter. I want you to watch it disappear into ash. And as you do, I want you to remember that this is exactly how God sees your sin. As no more.

Ladies, while we recognize we are imperfect, we also recognize that we cannot move on, surrendering to our husbands, until we begin truly surrendering to Him.

Learning to walk out forgiveness,