Romance in our world has become something other than what it used to be.
Romance is a beautiful part of marriage that God ordained as good. The media and Hollywood think that they have the market on romance. They try to sell it, but I am not buying it!
The dictionary describes romance as:
to treat with ardor or chivalrousness; to treat with great warmth of feeling, fervor or passion.
This is definitely not what Hollywood or the media (magazines, advertisers, etc.) are promoting.
God’s Word teaches that romance is part of love. It is a beautiful way to be intimate with your spouse. Listen to these words of the wife to her husband (The beloved and the lover) from Song of Solomon 2:3-6:
Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love. Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love. His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me.
Do you hear the emotion in the Beloved’s voice? The expression of love that comes from romance? She definitely has been treated with chivalry and ardor! She has been treated with such a great warmth of feeling that she is faint with love!
Remember being faint with love for your spouse?
Maybe the memories are distant.
It is time to rekindle the passion of romance in your marriage.
This is something I have to constantly remind myself. The flames of romance have to fanned and the embers stirred. I am not a romantic at heart. I constantly have to be intentional with romance.
But I take hope because the Lover of our Souls is an expert at romance! He created it and He woos us, His beloved bride, to Himself.
He teaches us to become the wives that He created us to be for our husbands. He teaches that love is “not self-seeking” ( see I Cor. 13:5).
Romance is about the other person. We practice romance to another person. It is a verb, not a dream or fairytale. To treat someone with romance takes effort. It is an emotional investment that comes through as sincerity in our actions.
As I practice romance with Keith I can honestly say that
“My lover is mine and I am his…” Song of Solomon 2:16a
Romance your husband, this week and in the weeks to come, and stir the flames of passion in the fire of your marriage.
Image from Pinterest
Thank you, Kim for this. Reminded me our small group at church, when asked to describe how to keep our marriage going. I told them I see marriage as a fire. I love fire (not in any weird way, thank God) I love keeping the fire going by putting little things and watch the small bursts of flame. I have learned what causes those little bursts in my husband. My husband is into fitness and health so walking with him and working out is romance to him, I know not very romantic, but it works for him. Dressing for him (He likes to pick out what I wear with him and we match colors (corny I know, but it works for him). Making salmon and broccoli (I do not eat salmon)! I think what causes the biggest bursts is what I say to him and mean it. I tell him, You are so handsome after a shower or how much I love his heart for God. I tell him I am so glad God put us together. I am willing when he wants to be intimate (the Lord just convicted me I can be more proactive here and make some spontaneous moves (Come on, baby, light my fire!)
I have found it is so much easier to keep a fire going than having to re-start after it has gone down. But even that is a challenge to me. Stirring up the bottom (getting down to what started the fire in the first place) Memories of really intimate times together or very special times.
Knowing what puts out the fire here is just as important as keeping it going. Saying negative things, not trusting my husband to lead are like throwing water on my fire. It makes it that much harder to get it going again. But with repentance and love I can rebuild our fire. I am only responsible for me, but I am determined to do whatever I can to keep this fire burning brightly for the Lord.
I am so grateful for this ministry that keeps us focused on what is vital in serving the Lord. Our first ministry is our marriage, or fire. Have fun building your fire!
Deborah, thank you so much for commenting. I love your words of wisdom you shared about the fire of our romance. It is so true that it is easier to keep the fire going than having to restart it! As I write here for the Imperfect Wives, God always uses it to teach me personally about areas of my marriage that He wants to work in or have control over. I am thankful as well for this ministry. I love your commitment that you are determined to do whatever you can to keep your marriage fire burning brightly for the Lord. I also will take to heart your wish for me – about having fun building the fire with my husband! Fun is always needed here! And even though it is not my strong-suit I do need to have fun in it all 🙂