It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and anangry woman. Proverbs 21:19 (KJV)
This Proverb always speaks to me when things get a little hot under the collar between my husband and me.
Now, I am not a loud person when I get angry. In fact, I keep my cool quite well on the outside, but inside my blood can boil if I feel wronged.
Sharp Practice: the act of dealing in which advantage is taken or sought unscrupulously.
Do you ever seek to take the advantage over you spouse in an argument?
Are you contentious and argumentative?
For many years in my marriage I used to have to get in the last word – in any and all disagreements between my husband and me. It used to drive him bonkers and on the occasion where I still feel that “old” way come to the surface it really drives him crazy!
Many years ago now, the Lord spoke to me about this practice. I learned at marriage enrichment retreats as a young wife that it was important to “fight” fairly with your spouse. Each year, after the retreat I would improve in the way I faced a disagreement with Keith but I was definitely still was learning what was “fair.”
This verse in Proverbs is quite strong to the wife. It is better to dwell in the wilderness (for the husband), than with a contentious and an angry woman (wife).
Wow.
Really?
Suddenly, I began to see the truth of my sharp practices within my dealings with my husband. I realized that I would deliberately have to be on guard so that I wouldn’t lean toward trying to achieve an advantage over my husband.
I came to understand that “winning” an argument was not really winning at all. In fact, thinking that was totally destructive to the unity in my marriage that the Lord intended.
Wives, what are your practices with your husbands? Are they free from any unscrupulous or advantage seeking maneuvering?
Ask the Lord to show you if you feel this might be the case. He desires so much for us. He calls us to:
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3 (NIV)
Walking with you all during this challenge as I know the Lord wants to show me much more in this area!
Kim
Kim,
As I’m replying late here… I’ve fallen behind on the reading (and catching up, reading as many posts as God walks me through each one – WHEW!) but wanted you to know that I thank you for your honesty & openness in sharing this characteristic that God wants to void from our beings. He has been working a long time on me with this one, you see – I am loud when I get angry, and the spewing that comes out of this mouth is completely unacceptable! I’ve “justified” it by the fact that I’m a red-head, I grew up with constant yelling … on & on. Depression overcame me hard about three or four years ago & I’ve been climbing my way out with Christ PULLING strong on me every step I come! I’m thankful for His grace, mercy, and forgiveness & while I’m still a work in progress – this “Sharp Practice” I need prayer to overcome sisters, please join me. I’m ashamed & guilty… I think the hardest part – I need to forgive myself. But I can’t – when it keeps happening, don’t get me wrong – I’m no where near where I used to be & SO thankful that God has brought me away from there. But the “old” part of me just won’t let go 🙁
In His timing… (I have a patience issue too) it will come!