It’s probably the most desired words to hear whether in song, poetry, or spoken “I love you!” It melts two hearts until they are one. Love is what keeps a marriage strong, secure, and sometimes a puzzling mystery to express. Nevertheless, it’s important to express our love to our spouse whether in word or deed. Also, it’s important to express it publicly in front of our children. The greatest gift we can give to our children is to love our spouse. Although my children tease us about our loving affection, they are confidently secure in it. A home filled with love will dwell in peace.
During our courting days, Ryan was very peculiar about giving me flowers, especially red roses. He advised me, “Don’t expect red roses until I say “I love you.” As a man of his word, I didn’t get red roses until the first night he told me. Oh, how I couldn’t wait to get those red roses; also to hear those words from his lips.
My husband and I are college sweethearts; we met our freshman year at Central Bible College. Although Ryan had a secret crush on me for a semester, he captured my heart during a chapel service. As the worship music played, Ryan worshiped with all of his heart; he wasn’t ashamed to express it. What drew my heart towards Ryan was his tenderness towards the Spirit, he cried. Why was this important to me? If a man can’t be sensitive or broken towards God, how can he lead a home or a church? Or if he can’t show love towards God how can he effectively love his wife?
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. (I Peter 3:7) Although this passage is addressing husbands, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t apply to the wife.
“Are your prayers feeling hindered?”
Maybe it has to do with how you treat your husband. How do you treat him on a daily basis? Or how do you talk about him to your friends? Anger, rage, jealously or unforgiveness will divide a marriage but love keeps it secure. Love is important to be expressed but its greatest proof is how it’s demonstrated.
When Ryan first expressed his love with red roses, it was worth the wait but it was so comical. Before we left for Spring Impact (a mission’s trip during spring break) Ryan took me out to dinner, gave me white roses, and prayed with me before I left. During this time of our courtship, I was expecting the red roses to appear soon. Sadly Ryan sensed my disappointment but he didn’t scold or get angry, he reminded me of his pledge. As the old saying, “Absence will make the heart grow founder.” During our short separation, I decided to express my heart towards Ryan when we reunited. I couldn’t wait! So, after returning to campus, I called Ryan’s phone to see if he returned. We decided to go to the park to spend some time together and share all of the stories of our trip. As I parked the car, I couldn’t wait to tell him. As our eyes met I just blurted it out, “I love you!” All I heard was the crickets, Ryan was quiet. He just bowed his head and the radio played a song from DC Talk, “Say the words, say the words, I love you.” We just started laughing. I apologized for making him feel uncomfortable or obligated to return those words. He advised I hadn’t. Yet, he reached behind the seat of the car to give me my red roses, I was so relieved! He loved me! Although, I cherish those simple words, I appreciate the daily reminders he does to show he loved me.
So, express those simple words today! Say the words I love you!
Building strong marriages together,
Tina Wetor
The following are a few verses to further encourage you:
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” (1 Peter 3:7)
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8)
