I don’t like hate roller coasters.

Anyone who has had the unfortunate experience of riding in any car I’m driving knows it’s not the speed that bothers me.

It’s the free-falling, can’t-catch-my-breath, can’t-control-anything-at-this-moment that I really, really dislike.

I have to admit, there have been times in my life and my marriage where I have had those same exact feelings.

The high highs, low lows and the get-me-off-this-thing-now feeling.

Charlie and I will be celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary this summer. Ten years. Wow I have no idea where the time has gone!

But what I do know is that neither one of us are the same people we were on the day we said “I do.”  Praise the Lord for that!

If our marriage is going to get better, if we are going to get wiser in the things of the Lord, if we are going to take our family in the direction He has called us, we can’t remain those same people.

If there is anything I could go back and tell the younger version of me, I’d want to tell her that marriage is more than cleaning toilets, cooking a good meal and having fun together.

It’s living selflessly:

. . . fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2:2-4

It’s understanding our calls as peacemakers:

If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Romans 12:18

It’s an evolution of two lives into one:

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24

Having the marriage He has ordained is about a whole lot less of my control and a whole lot more of His. It’s about the moment-by-moment choices that create the whole.

It’s about refusing to remain that 20-something year old and moving forward as God has called. It’s about holding on tight during the high-highs, the low-lows, hitting my knees and holding onto Him during those white-knuckled get-me-off-this-thing-now moments.

Ladies, how have you and your marriage evolved over the course of time? Who were you then versus who you are now? Do you have some words of wisdom concerning your walk in marriage that you would like to share here?

Holding on Tightly,


photo courtesy of  Pinterest