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Have you ever had a moment where you looked at your spouse and, in shock, thought, “I can’t believe you just said that. To me!”
I have had that opportunity on numerous occasions.
You see, my husband is a man’s man.
He was raised in a house where testerone ruled (his poor mother), and sensitivity was a foreign concept.
As a young man there was bull riding and rugby playing. His post-college years were filled with flight school and combat in one of the most Alpha-dog communities that exists: The Marine Corps.
Despite all that knowledge going into our marriage, I was sometimes floored at the words that would come out of his mouth.
But more that floored, I would often be hurt.
And he honestly wouldn’t have a clue as to why.
I noticed somewhere along the way that I stopped taking things he said to heart so much. I had to recgonize that my husband’s intent was to never hurt me.
But there are times, even now, when he will say something, and I can immediately feel the tears spring up, or in a moment of anger entertain fleeting thoughts of throwing something at him.
Taking offense, especially with the ones we love most, is so easy to do.
What does God’s word say about it?
“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”
I love that last part: It is to my glory, my husband’s glory and, most importantly, it is to God’s glory if I choose to overlook an offense.
Notice I added the word choose.
Because that’s exactly what it is: a choice.
Now I’ve made it sound like we have some control over these crazy emotions of ours.
Here’s the kicker: we do!
God not only ask us, but goes on to say it will bring Him glory, if we can overlook the hurt, anger or pain our husbands have caused us.
Sometimes the hurt was caused by nothing more than some male testosterone insensitivity. Sometimes however, the hurt has been intentional, making the choice an even tougher one.
What does God want us to do at that point?
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
Essentially, He’s asking us to move past our hurt and into a place of forgiveness. He’s asking us to put down our rights, our justifications, our “deserves”, so that we bind our hearts together in love rather than seperate them in anger.
But you see, God doesn’t expect, or even want us to do that in our own strength.
His word promises that:
“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
So ladies, I encourage you, the next time your husband has offended you, hurt you, or made you angry will you let glory abound as you choose to overlook the offense?
Will you share your victory with us here? Will you let us rejoice with you in your triumph that can come only through Christ?
Choosing to not be offended,
Barb
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