“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”

 – Elizabeth Barrett Browning 

Falling for our husbands all over again is as easy as practicing:
           Looking for the Lovable
The question that comes to mind as we discuss the final “L” in my acronym F-A-L-L is, “Is it okay, as a wife, to have to look for something lovable in or about my husband?  I mean, shouldn’t we just love him and not have to scrounge something up to love about him?”

I say yes!  It is okay to look for the lovable in our mate!

Marriage is a relationship and since by its nature, a committed relationship between a man and a woman, there will be tensions as each partner is “only human.” Each of us has a sin nature which we are always battling.  Paul writes in Romans 7:18-19, 

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.  

In the midst of this battle (over our sin nature), there will be wounds and scrapes and ups and downs in our marriage relationship.  So sometimes it is hard to see the lovable in our husbands. 

Our marriages also are alive and growing, so our marriages will move, change and grow.  As this happens we experience different seasons in our marriages.
The spring and summer of our marriages are when we experience new growth and fruit.  It is a sweet time and during these times we can easily find the lovable in our spouse.
There are also other seasons that we may go through in our marriages that are not as lush and sweet as the spring/summer seasons.  These times may involve a dry season or drought or perhaps a rainy or cold time.  

During these times (which can be brought on by conflict or even lack of effort on our part as wives or by our husbands or a combination of both), we can experience feelings that we know are not from God.  Those feelings are certainly not welcome and not how we want to “feel” about our husband.

Looking for the lovable in our husband can help us through these tough seasons in our marriages.

As I find things or qualities to love about my husband, I begin to allow God to remove some of the obstacles which keep me from respecting and showing love to my spouse.

Begin with small or basic things you love about your spouse. 

Make a list.  Start it now.  

  • I love that my man gets up every day to earn a paycheck and to provide for our
  • I love that he cares for the car so we have something to meet our needs for transportation.  
  • I love his laugh and his jokes.  
  • I love that he wrestles with the boys.  

Begin your list.

Don’t just write a few things down today but, rather, keep the list going for a few days or even a few weeks.  Look for things you can add to your list; dig deep, as you may be going through a desert season and the ground is hard and dry around your heart but life-giving water can be found if you dig deeper!  

Ask God to show you things or qualities to love about your husband.  Finding the lovable will spark your marriage; it will change your mindset about your spouse, and will carry you through some of the harder seasons of marriage. 

We don’t have to do it alone, though, ladies.  God has given us His Spirit and has given us victory over the sin nature even though we still battle with it.  
Take a look at Romans 8:9-11,

You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ.  But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.

If we have Christ in us, then we have His Spirit living in us! 

It is The Powerful Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead!  By His grace He can raise, revive and renew our marriages and the way we think and feel about our husbands!  

Ask God to show you the lovable as you look at your husband.  

I started my list today. I have a notebook and as I look to the Lord to help me fill it up, I anticipate that one day it will make a fine gift to my husband.  Won’t he be surprised with all the things I love about him!

O, how I love him, let me count the ways.