Many wives are married to an unbelieving husband. I used to be one of them. The reason I’m using the word “unbelieving” is because this is just what Bill was. He did not believe the Bible is God’s Word. He felt that the Bible was filled with good stories that could help a person learn and grow to be a better human being, but did not believe each detail was true or relevant for today.

Can you imagine my heart as the beats multiplied with each conversation we had on this subject? Doubt would fill my soul. Urgency to see his salvation come would lead me to damage the work God had already done -the work I could not see.  Each conversation left me in a pool of despair for my husband.

I had to learn how to talk to Bill and what God wanted me to do as a godly wife.

I had to learn fast. Each word I spoke had the power to sow life or death into Bill and my marriage, and I had already sown enough death.

It got so bad that Bill felt backed into a corner just like the lion in the picture.  He decided he wanted a divorce.

{Take a good look at the lion’s face. Have you seen this look before?}

Bill felt God was pulling me away from him. He felt I loved God more than I loved him.

I was a new believer learning how to walk out love in my marriage. I had to quickly learn what God’s desire was for the wife who is married to an unbeliever.

What does the Bible say about my situation?

The following points are the answers God gave me during this trial.

~ Don’t Separate/Don’t Divorce: 1 Corinthians 7:10

“Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.”

What this meant for me was that I had to make a choice: give Bill what he wanted {a divorce} or dig my feet in deep and stand for my marriage. It was Bill’s choice to leave, but it was my choice to stand!

~ Remain committed to my marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:13

“And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.”

My friends told me to leave because of the things Bill was doing and saying. They told me that the kids and I deserved to be happy and that I was a bad parent for staying in the marriage. God told me that the grass on the other side may look greener to my friends, but in reality it wasn’t greener at all. If he was willing to stay with me, I needed to stay, too.

~ Become a sanctifying influence. 1 Corinthians 7:14

“For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.”

The one thing I was most worried about was Bill’s salvation. After reading this scripture I knew I could lay this worry in God’s hands. He is mighty and able to take care of Bill for me as I waited for the day of his salvation.

I also looked up the “sanctified” and learned its definition.

Sanctification: the act or process of acquiring sanctity, of being made or becoming holy. To sanctify is literally “to set apart for special use or purpose,” figuratively “to make holy or sacred,” and etymologically from the Latin verb sanctificare which in turn is from sanctus “holy” and facere “to make.” (from Wikipedia)

~ Learn to cultivate being a quiet influence through submission instead of the loud fool I had become. 1 Peter 3:1-2

“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.”

How can you influence your unbelieving husband?

~ Win him with your attitude.

~ Let him see God working in your life.

~ Let God change your heart. 

~ Quietly co-operate with God.

~ Let God convince your husband He is real!

Rebecca and I recorded two shows concerning submission and becoming the influence God wants us to be. You can listen to the archives below to further your studies on this subject.

Part 1:
Part 2:

Blessings as you continue your journey as an imperfect wife!


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