“He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.” Proverbs 17:27

How many times do you have a fight with your husband and the first thing you want to do, usually before the dust settles, is call your mom or a good friend?

There are times when Bill and I have fought and the first thing I did was to call my best friend.

{Oh, come on now, we’ve all done it…we love to talk to our best friend about how bad our husband is. We need to hear them tell us that we are right and our husbands are crazy! We love the catchphrase, “He’s a man.” I know I have said it more than a few times myself!}

There are those times when God’s still small voice says to me, “Keep this between us.” Sometimes when I heard these words, I pushed them away. I thought that I had a right to tell my friend because she would listen and understand where I was coming from.

When I was younger I decided to talk back to my mom because my brothers did and they never got punished, or so I thought. I stepped out on that ledge with boldness and got a backhand on my mouth. Ouch! It hurt and I knew I could never do that again.

God gives me a spiritual backhand when I respond to Bill in the wrong way or share things with others I know I should have kept to myself. It hurts, but it is a good reminder.

I have found two reasons God asks me to keep quiet:

The first is to see if I will be obedient to His voice. In the beginning, I failed miserably. I asked God to give me wisdom, but when He did I ignored Him. Praise God that He is patient with me and I have seen consistent growth in this area.

The second reason is to protect our husband’s reputation. There are those who we think we can trust, but can’t. They tell our business to a friend and that friend tells a friend. You get the picture. Please know that God moves in us as we continue to heed His guidance. With every right response comes great reward.

If our husbands are going to have a “safe place to land,” then we need to keep some things between us. As we do, we grow and God blesses our marriages.  Sometimes, just by keeping our mouths closed we can see the situation change. The more we talk about it the more we bring life to that negative situation, but by keeping it to ourselves God allows us to give a sweet gift to our husbands: our trust and faith in them.

There are some things that have to be talked about. In those situations, find a counselor or someone you trust who can give you the help you need.

If you have a fight with your husband and you want to call a friend, use discretion and listen for God’s response first. He may just want you to keep it between the two of you.

Lord, thank You for Your Word and how You speak to us through it. Help us to continue to grow as wives and meet the needs of our husbands. Give us wisdom and discretion to help us walk the path You have laid before us. Break every stronghold that Satan has placed to destroy our marriage. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen!


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