Those first few years were emotional. Ups and downs. Love abounded but our new life together was constantly dotted with frustrations as we learned to be one flesh. Our love was new and our roots were not very deep.
Our marriages need nurturing to allow the roots of love to take hold, grow and strengthen. The constant tending of the tree of my marriage took (and still takes!) commitment.
Paul, in his prayer for the Ephesian church declares that, as Christ’s church, we must be “rooted and established in love.”
“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:16-19
This is true for our marriages as well. We need to be rooted and established in love.
As wives, we must devote ourselves to our husbands and cultivate the soil of our love for them.
We don’t have to do this hard work on our own, however! As a daughter of Christ, you have the power of Christ’s Spirit “in your inner being!”
We can cultivate love for our husbands. We can love more fully and less selfishly.
The milestones of my marriage make me see how my marriage has evolved.
Five year mark – Keith and I had a love that thrilled and excited each other.
Ten year mark – we were grounded in our marriage and were learning how the responsibility of having children changed the make-up of our marriage.
Fifteen year mark – there was joy in seeing our children exit the diaper stage and our love for each other became and example to the children of God’s love for them.
Twenty year mark – we had a sense of security and deep happiness that the investment we were marking in each other had a kingdom purpose.
Now, at almost 22 years, I didn’t think I could love Keith any more deeply, but I was wrong! During one of the hardest times of my life, this past summer when my dad died, I saw Keith love like never before. God showed me how high and deep his love is for me through Keith as I grieved.
It is time to dream now, ladies. Dream and imagine the marriage that God has for you and your husband. Be intentional in cultivating the love you have for him. There will be times in life where you will need to have a love with strong roots to weather the storms. Pray the prayer Paul prayed for comprehension for the Ephesian Christians. He closes chapter three like this:
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Image taken from Pinterest