Things in my house have been amiss lately, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
This undeniable tension has hung in the air, as if it were invited, and everything just seemed off.
I prayed specifically yesterday that the Lord would show me what the source of the tension was, that He would reveal the root to me so it could be taken care of.
And in His faithfulness He did.
The root of the problem? ME.
Can I tell you how not excited I was at that answer?
I was ready to bind things, cast things out, or recognize an issue in my husband, but that would have all been for naught, as I was the problem.
The Lord began to show me that thanks to my old friend fear, (we go way back) I was resisting, rather than submitting to my husband’s leading.
I did NOT want to submit in this situation. NOT AT ALL!
What I did want to do was kick and scream. And ask him if he was crazy. (There’s a slight chance I might have really done that. I would hang my head if I didn’t need to keep typing.)
But did I mention I really don’t want this one thing to happen?
The thought of it makes me want to cry. And throw up. And melt into a puddle on the floor.
In my more dramatic moments (maybe my husband was right) I picture men with straight jackets coming to get me.
And what’s worse was that I justified my behavior by listening to the lie of the enemy as he told me I didn’t have to submit, that my husband was wrong.
I called a dear friend, a sister in the Lord, whose opinion I trust more than my own, who should probably be writing my post because she has this marriage business figured out far better than I do. She is one of two people who know our entire marriage walk and who have stood beside me this whole time. I knew I needed her wisdom.
And her answer? “Tell him to go for it. And then hit your knees.”
I knew what my friend was going to say. And I knew what I should have done, but greatly failed to do.
Go for it.
This was going to require the big girl panties.
So yesterday, when he returned home from work and I got a full two minutes child-free to talk with him, I apologized for my child-like behavior. And then I said those three little (but oh-so-big-at-the-moment) words: “go for it.”
He accepted my apology and simply said, “Thank you.”
And then I noticed when we arrived home from church, that feeling that I hadn’t been able to put my finger on…it was gone. There was no tension swirling about. And things weren’t off.
Hmm, okay now what?
I take my friends advice and I hit my knees.
This situation that I so dreadfully fear, it really might come to fruition. It may fizzle into nothing.
If I’m on my knees, pulling on heaven for wisdom and guidance for our family, I can trust that is what has happened.
I can also trust that I won’t ask him again if he’s crazy when he mentions this topic.
And most importantly, I can trust that he will be more open to my opinions when he first knows he has my support.
Do you have a situation in your marriage where you also need to just tell your husband to “go for it?”
Wives can you submit?
I will leave you with these scriptures to read over, meditate on and help your heart trust.
James 3:17-18
But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness
James 4:7
Submit yourselves, then, to God . . .
1 Timothy 2:11
A woman should learn in quietness and full submission.
Ephesians 5:24
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Hebrews 12:9
Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live!
Ephesians 5:21
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ
Learning to submit one day at a time,
Barb
Cherie & Rebecca spent two weeks discussing biblical submission. Check out the archived shows here and here.
