I lay here in bed and so many things run through my head. The Lord is opening my eyes to so much it’s overwhelming to think about putting it down on paper.
I went with a friend to see the encore showing of Focus on the Family’s movie “Irreplaceable” and I left a mess. That movie exposes the brokenness of this world, literally lays it out right in front of you, and it is hard to watch. It broke me in two. How did we get here as husbands, wives, sons, daughters, women and men? We are lost, this world is turned upside down, or perhaps it needs to be.
We walk around in our little concert suits pretending we have it all together, while we are literally suffocating underneath. We isolate ourselves, living independent lives all the while breaking ourselves to fit into the mold that our culture as created. We imprison ourselves! Our very definition of freedom has actually made us slaves; slaves to the ideas and opinions of others, slaves to our selfishness, our desires, and our emotions.
This need to appear as if we have it all together steals our joy and ultimately Gods glory. If we are pretending to be strong the world doesn’t see Him, it sees us surviving in our own strength. But when we are transparent, broken, and weak then His strength is made known. When the world looks at you and they see your pain, and your struggles. When they see scars, then they are better able to see His strength, his healing and His love. Because when they ask how are you still standing? You point to Him and say because He is holding me together!
“And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” (Colossians 1:17)
I’ve always been afraid to share my sin, my struggles, especially when it comes to being a mother, and especially as a Christ Follower. God is cracking open my shell and exposing my raw brokenness. I shared with a friend tonight a moment when in anger, I looked into my sweet five year olds eyes and broke her with my words; I watched it happened, I saw her face drop and in that moment I felt like I had failed her. I don’t know why I am struggling to do this mothering thin; I have been practicing my whole life and yet I can’t seem to pull myself away from my own desires long enough to play with my sweet daughter. As I shared this, I felt words just flow out of my mouth, The Lord was just speaking to my spirit, revealing truth to me at that very moment; in my weakness He was filling me. Then I realized, if we ever expect to show this world the redeeming power and the steadfast love of our Lord and savior we had better stop walking around in our own strength and start walking in His!
“If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it.” (Mark 8:35)
There is a freedom in losing yourself, giving of yourself, letting go of control and perfection and just falling. Let the world see your weakness so they can see His strength, Let the world see your scars so that they can see their healer. As wives, as mothers and as women stop falling for the lie that says we must have it all together, and just fall, to your knees and grab hold to the feet of your Savior because when you are brought low He will lift you up.
“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor” (James 4:10)
The Lord is going to make the changes in my heart that need to be made, when I’m humbled at His feet, not when I’m standing in pride.
Pray for our country, that our values be restored! Because I fear the world my daughter will grow up in if we don’t arise and allow God to use us to show this world His love!
Building strong marriages together,
Ashley Ladd
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Here are few verses to encourage you:
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” (James 5:16)
