“You will keep in perfect peace, whose mind is steadfast, because “she” trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3
So many times I have tried so hard to change Bill. I mean, if a girl can change her husband by sheer tenacity, I promise you it would be me.
Have you been here before as well?
Why did I try so hard? As hard as this is to confess to you, I will anyway.
I didn’t trust God!!
Wow, I said it.
God saw my persistence and He let me keep trying.
However, the end result wasn’t what I expected it to be. It was like running a race I wasn’t equipped to run.
Oh I ran…………..right out of steam!
My thoughts were spinning.
I lost all sense of my place as Bill’s helpmate because I decided to take the place as his maker.
The sad part is that Bill and I were both worse off than when I started.
I found myself in tears and very frustrated, feeling inadequate in every area of my marriage.
What is worse is I lost all peace in the area I could always find it: my prayers over Bill.
I had to realize God doesn’t need my help to change Bill.
I finally stopped. Literally stopped in my tracks and cried out to God, “Why God? Why won’t he change?”
I began to give God a resume` of all the things I had tried.
His answer was simple. “Do you want the man that your changes will produce (Oh, I already had this man and he was miserable and so was I!) or do you want the man who follows My will?”
This revelation brought me right to humbleness. My peace was gone because “I” was trying to change Bill in my will (anxiety) and my ways (pride).
God is so much greater than me. He didn’t need my help. If anything, I was hindering the work he was trying to do. I was hindering my own prayers for my husband.
I want the man God has designed for me.
I put Bill in God’s hands and chose to trust Him. And soon, my peace was restored.
I have since realized what God wants for us is so much greater than what we want for ourselves.
Yesterday is gone and today is a brand new day. I pray you are smiling as you read that.
We have been given another day to hand over our husbands and even ourselves to God. Let’s walk in peace being steadfast to trust God to change us both!
Daddy, I give my life as an offering to You and to Bill. Thank You for grace and for perfect peace!
~One of many Imperfect Wives,