Being married is a gift and not one we should so easily throw away because of a fight. I have learned that I had to grow up and stop running every time I didn’t like what Bill said or did to me. I had to stay! I used to be a great runner, out side, from our vehicle, from restaurants, when ever he made me mad. Now one of our sons does the same thing with his relationships.. Wives, our kid…s are watching us too and learn from what we do.. If we are doing it then it’s ok or the right thing to do in their minds. I have since gone to my son and apologized to him and his dad for my past behavior and shared with him why I was wrong. He is working on not running away when things get tough or he gets mad!
Anyone else dealt with this issue in their marriage? How did you stop it?
Cherie ♥
I'm glad I'm not the only one. I usually run to my room though until I calm down enough to be able to talk. Lately, if my husband says something that gets me, I have been trying to call him on it. We both have to be accountable for our words and actions.
I think I am just the opposite. I don't run, but stay there and beat the conversation to death, which is just as wrong. I can't seem to let it go. I am trying to be more patient. Think through my reason for anger and discuss it at a time that neither of us are so heated up. My struggle is that I want my husband to "get it", and respond in the same fashion. I spend too much time wanting things to be equal and not enough time hearing what God has planned for me, and me alone.
Great post. I love the question. The further I get in my marriage the more I stay and not run. I still have moments where I need to take a walk and think, but I'm more into talking.
Found you via theblogfrog.
Rachel
I think we all want to run sometimes. Selfishness takes over in just a matter of seconds. Running doesnt get us anywhere. Learning to cope with situations that we feel uncomfortable in will make a big difference to God and our marriages.
Serving with Joy,
Sonya
Just found your blog from Blog Frog :0 ) Now a follower!
Michelle,
Your not alone by any means. Makes me wonder who ran in our lives caused us to think this was acceptable behavior. I talk to Bill as well but for the most part I wait until after the situation has settled down. He doesn't hear me well if I call him on it right at that moment.
Just Me! I love your honesty. Truth be known I have stayed and run my opinion into the ground a few times my self only to realize Bill wasn't having any of it.. We both have learned a great deal but it was when I got quiet and submissive that he began to hear me.
Sonya, you are so right! 🙂
Heather, welcome to PWC. So glad to have you and look forward to your input.. :o)
I'm not a runner…but my husband is. I am a talk and talk and talk and talk until the wee hours of the morning to sort it out type person and it is AWFUL sometimes…I have a wee bit of a tendency to be OCD about things…and I have a tough time just stopping and letting things go.
The last 9 weeks of my life have taught me SOOOO much about God and HIS control over things and how I have absolutely no place to even attempt to control…and thus realized that all my talking and hashing things out and forcing my opinions on my husband when he just simply wanted to rest and let it go…I was trying to take God's place in his life. Not good.
Learning though…it's slow…but I'm getting there.
Supermanslady! You are one wise wife! I have learned the same lesson as you. It does take time but Praise God we do get there.
Love ya,
Cherie
This is a great post. I'm a runner on the road, but not in my marriage. However, recently I'm finding myself weary and more willing to lay down and give up. Not like me… could use your prayers.
Manda, you have our prayers!
My email is cheriezack at gmail dot come.
Feel free to email me if you would like to talk. :o)
I should just say 'Ditto' to Supermanslady's post. My husband has a tendency to try to run when things get too heated. (Not leave for good, just go for awhile until things cool down.) I do not run but I can sure talk things to death and keep him up way too late when he has to go to work the next morning.
I really liked this that Supermanslady said….
and thus realized that all my talking and hashing things out and forcing my opinions on my husband when he just simply wanted to rest and let it go…I was trying to take God's place in his life. Not good.
This is definitely good food for thought. Thanks for this great discussion.
Blessings,
Teresa <><
♥ Too Many Heartbeats ♥
Hi! New follower here from iFellowship! Great reminder that little eyes are watching our marriages. And closely!
Jennifer
http://www.thefarriswheel.blogspot.com