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Chicanery - Cherie Zack | Fighting For Your Marriage

Chick what?

Not a word you hear everyday but perhaps you have practiced it in your relationship with your husband.

Chicanery means – trickery or deception by quibbling or sophistry (sophistry = a subtle, tricky, superficially plausible, but generally false method of reasoning)

I know in the past I have been guilty of this trickery or deception in my relationship with Keith.

Early in our marriage I would fall into a pattern of this subtle, yet tricky, deception.

When my husband would ask me to do something or take care of something for him I would generally do it, but in my own timing.  If it was something I felt was his responsibility or if I even got the idea that he just didn’t want to make the effort to do it himself I would be just a little resentful.  Then, when he asked if I had done “such and such” for him I would instinctively, without even thinking, say “yes!”  Then I would, without him knowing it, take care of the request and so be “true” with what I had told him.

Have you ever just responded to someone (your spouse and others) with that knee-jerk reaction of deceit?  Not really intending to trick or deceive but somehow, superficially what you said seemed to be true?

I didn’t know why I responded in that knee-jerk untruthful way but I found myself doing it more than once.  I would justify it every time it happened, especially since he didn’t seem aware of my deception.  In fact, sometimes I would even be angry at my husband for “making” me respond that way or I would think “all that is important is that I made it true after the fact”  (thus, enter the sophistry).  The Lord dealt with me after responding this way on numerous occasions.  My hidden deceit was indeed seen.

Proverbs 28:13 says,

 He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

I knew right then that I needed to confess and renounce this behavior.  And God in His grace granted mercy!

We need to be careful about trickery, subtle, plausible deceit and be honest in our speech and actions.

When we marry the two together (honesty in our speech and actions) our communication is sprinkled with authenticity and simplicity.

Cling to what is true and leave the false reasoning behind you.  It simplifies our communication and brings freedom to our relationships.

Intentionally, purposefully let our actions be free from false, superficial reasoning and trickery this week and in the weeks ahead.

Praying for simplicity,

♥ Kim