It’s June, and with June comes Father’s Day. Yay! I always love any reason to celebrate my dad, and now my husband as a father to our daughter. But I don’t always do that very well on ordinary days, and that is something I truly want to become better at.
I think men get the short end of the stick most times. Even in church’s, Mother’s day is celebrated with powerful sermons honoring the importance’s of mother’s and thanking them for all they do, while the sermon for Father’s Day; in some cases is be a “Do better Dad” speech. On social media you see funny little pictures of Father’s being portrayed as fumbling idols as if they aren’t capable of parenting their children responsibly. Dr. Greg Smiley, once said that one thing that always made him upset as a father was being referred to as a babysitter, as if any time he spent with the kids was only to give mom a break, and oh how sweet that was of him.
Well this Father’s Day the “Do better” speech is reserved for us wives, we need to do better at stepping back and letting our husbands be active in the parenting role, encouraging them and lifting them up. Letting them know they are needed and wanted and their prospective matters. The unique characteristics that God has given them are very important in our children’s lives. They are not just there to protect and provide, but to actively be involved in the home as well.
Men and Women are wired differently.
Moms are the more cautious, nurturing parent, while dads are the more adventurist, messy parent, and when I say messy, I mean that in the fun water balloon fight kind of way. More often than not, those different approaches can clash and cause conflict issues. But we can do something about that; we can embrace our husbands prospective and work together as a team. His adventurist attitude, combined with your more cautious attitude, makes for safe fun. God made no mistake when creating us differently; we are meant to compliment each other.
I don’t want to put my husband in a box; I want him to be the father God created him to be, and that he wants to be. I want to be his teammate, not his opposite. But how do I do that? Dr. Greg Smiley used the following verse for encouragement:
“For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.”(Ephesians 5:29)
It’s so easy for me to undermine my husband’s effort to parent our daughter; most of the time not even meaning too. I am a stay at home mom, and military wife, therefore I have created a routine. When my husband was deployed, I became the sole handler when it came to all problems. If she has a BOO BOO; I fixed it, if she missed behaved I handled it, and so when my husband would return home and try parenting, I would find myself undermining him either by criticizing his efforts, or by coddling her after he gave her instruction. I’m sure this is common in more than just military homes, and I’m sure it plays a major part in the reality that most dads feel they have no part in the parenting of their children, other than as the primary role of “Provider, Protector, and Discipline”
When men feel disrespected they react in one of two ways; they retreat or they get angry.
Using Ephesians 5:29, wives are encouraged to cherish their husbands. Their opinions, perspective, and their ideas are important. Don’t just shut them out because they have a different approach than us, but to consider that their input is valid and important, and they have so much to offer as Dad’s.
Think about the attributes your husband brings to your home; for me my husband brings laughter and comfort. He is always tickling, giving raspberries, and just making autumn and I laugh straight from the belly. He also brings a sense of safety, when he is home I feel safe, like no one can hurt us.
For Father’s Day let’s show our husbands just how much they mean to our family by cherishing them in all their roles and perhaps by allowing them to create new ones.
Building strong marriages together,
Ashley Ladd
Love this Ashley!! I agree,I get irritated and saddened when men are portrayed as dumb. We should be portraying them as strong! Our children need someone to look up too.
Amen Heather