Kindness: the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. Are you friendly with your hubby? When Robert comes home from work, I’m often in the middle of some task that seems important or pressing. When I allow that chore to take priority, I just look up, smile and say, “Hi.” Not bad, but definitely not an “A+.”
Let’s look at the next parts of our ensemble:
However, when I exhibit kindness toward my husband, I put down what I’m working on, greet him at the door (I have a maltese who serves as an “early warning system” to announce Robert’s arrival!) and give him a big hug and a kiss. Those few extra seconds of my time definitely give me a big pay-off…
That simple choice is kind because it’s friendly (when was the last time you didn’t meet one of your girlfriends at the door when they came to visit?!), generous (I’m giving of my time), and considerate (who doesn’t love to be greeted with enthusiasm?!).
This is one example of where I often “get it right.” One of the measures that I use in my treatment of Robert is to ask myself if the attitude, body language, facial expression, and tone of voice are what I would use to communicate with a girlfriend. If I wouldn’t speak to one of my girlfriends in that manner, then I probably shouldn’t talk to Robert that way, either.
Humility: a modest view of one’s own importance.
Let’s face it: Sometimes we can get caught up in our own “stuff.” Chores, schedule, desires, comfort. It’s awfully easy to get our perspective skewed. What we need or want looms large in our vision, while the needs of others seem to shrink. Especially when we’re stressed, busy, or tired. (And if you’re like me…those words could be used to describe at least some portion of every day.)
It never fails. I assert my need for something to happen my way and it doesn’t go the way I think it should. I end up with a result quite different than the one I was after. So disappointing.
Quietly, the Holy Spirit speaks to me and reminds me that I need to wait for Him to meet my needs/wants. I don’t need to push to get my way. If I would only put Robert first and not act like I’m the most important person in the relationship and trust the Lord, then I would see my needs met more beautifully and completely than I can even imagine.
Sometimes this is easy to do. And the results are tremendous. Other times, not so much. I’m often not even aware of my lack of humility until it’s too late. I’m growing. Changing. Maturing.
The image I have in my mind is of a toddler who has just learned how to take off her clothes. She is delighted in her new skill and uses it at every opportunity…she loves to exercise her independence and assert her will over the will of her parents.
Her parents, however, know that it isn’t good for her to run around without her clothes on! They know that, for modesty’s sake, she needs to keep her clothes on, so they keep re-dressing her and teach her not to take her clothes off in public.
I don’t want to be like that toddler. I want to be mature, especially in my relationship with my husband. I could choose to take off my spiritual clothes and run around, but it’s immodest. It’s not what’s best for me or for the people around me. God, like the good Daddy that He is, has reminded me in His word that I need to put my clothes on and keep them on!
Getting dressed to bless,