I’m doing a Bible study on Monday nights called “First Love” by J.D. Greear, with some awesome ladies at my house. In the study Pastor J.D. Greear says,
“There are no marriage issues, there are only individual issues that are revealed within the marriage.”
The specific sin my husband is bound by probably didn’t seem like a big deal in his singleness, but as a husband it became a huge deal; one that keeps pulling him down. Live with another sinner long enough and you will see their sin. It will be ugly. It will cause pain. It will make you want to run. But remember, your sin looks exactly the same to your spouse. I’ve learned that I can’t compare myself with my husband, I must only compare myself with Christ…..
When we compare ourselves to another sinner we are tempted to compare sin. We say things like ” How could I forgive him” “I can’t believe he did that” we tend to think we are better because we judge their sin according to our standard of good and bad. Their sin is worst then mine. Mercy and grace are forsaken and relationships fall apart.
When I am focused on Jesus and only comparing myself to the cross, I am reminded that my sin is just as ugly and has caused just as much pain. I don’t need anyone’s permission to love my husband, nor do I need anyone’s permission to forgive him. There is no expiration date, no lines that need to be drawn. My husband’s sin hurts me and it hurts our marriage because that’s exactly what sin does, it separates us by creating pain.
But Jesus hung on a cross for six hours in the blazing sun in very real pain! For me and for you and for our husbands – whether they are saved or unsaved. Our sin separated us from God. Jesus endured extraordinary pain so that we, despite our sin, could be brought near to our God. This is Amazing Grace..
We did nothing to deserve this, and we continue sinning every single day.
And yet we are still forgiven every single day!
There is absolutely NO expirations date on our forgiveness when our faith is in Jesus Christ.
He doesn’t drawn a line……
He doesn’t say enough is enough…….
My sin and my husband’s sin is no surprise to our Savior. It’s exactly why he endured the cross. He knew we would never be able to overcome our struggles on our on.
Because my husband hasn’t fully surrendered his life to Christ, his continued struggle with sin should be no surprise to me. Does it hurt me? YES! In marriage we are ONE flesh, so when my lost husband falls into the enemies traps, I feel the pain because I am one with him.
But I will not over look him.
I will not pass him over.
I will cry….
I will be angry….
I will feel sad….
But I will also press into my Savior, my very real help in times of trouble, and I will yield to God’s ways because they are higher then mine. Being filled with His strength I will let Him shine his light through me, so that one day my husband will follow that light out of the darkness and into His saviors arms.
I have decided that in my marriage there will NEVER be an expiration date on forgiveness.
I will not compare myself to him. I will remember that my sin hurt my savior in a very real way and I will remember that I am forgiven forever! My trust is in the LORD -the One who laid down his life for me. When my husband’s sin makes me feel worthless, unvalued, and over looked, I will focus my eyes on the one in which my worth is found.
At the end of the day I have but one question to ask myself, ” Will I serve God, or myself?”
Ashley, thank you for being so transparent with your marriage with us. I appreciate your heart to allow others to look in and see what is really going on in you. Blessings and praying for you as you continue to grow within your marriage!
Thank you Cherie !!!
Is this something I can do individually or just with my daughter, we were looking for a study to do
You can do it individual or with your daughter which ever one. It’s about gospel centered relationships.