I gained a nickname during the first year of my marriage with Bill: Wonder Woman. After a few years the name seemed to take a life of its own. Soon, even my birthday cards were no longer safe from its grasp.
I have to tell you that I was never comfortable with the name. Bill called me Wonder Woman. My Daddy called me Wonder Woman. Even friends and other family members got in on it.
It did not take long for the name to become too heavy for me to carry and I began to lose my joy.
Bill was a corpsman in the Navy and stationed on the John F Kennedy {JFK 67} Carrier. By this time we had already tucked under our belts his first Med Cruise (Navy ship sails to, around, and back from the Mediterranean Sea in about 6 months) and many “workups”.
While preparing for his next cruise, I found myself overwhelmed by what the name meant and asked Bill why he called me Wonder Woman. He answered, “You have more power in your little finger than most women do in their whole body. You’re Wonder Woman!”
Nice compliment, huh?
But before I could receive it, he went on to explain that I can do anything, and gave me a list {A LIST} of things he expected me to accomplish while he was out to sea. Just – because – I – could – do – it.
Now, I don’t know about you, but this got my English blood boiling. I worked hard to keep our home clean, the kids well taken care of and fed, the doctors’ appointments and parent-teacher meetings met, the yards mowed, laundry done, and everything else a wife has to do alone in the absence of her husband.
I felt unappreciated and neglected. His words stung me as he told me he could walk away freely, knowing everything would be taken care of as if it was no big deal. What he missed was this: it took all the energy I had physically and emotionally to take care of our home and family. Instead of receiving a word of encouragement or even a hug and a thank you, I got called Wonder Woman.
I was offended and hurt by his words. Soon the words placed a burden on my shoulders that were too small to carry something so large. I started feeling like I had to get everything and more done, or I would no longer measure up to the picture he had of me or the name. My thoughts started spinning out of control. I had become afflicted by Wonder Woman!
Three months into that Med Cruise, I started feeling panic attacks coming on. I knew this had to stop. I was at the altar one Sunday morning crying out to God. I felt so alone as the words Wonder Woman seemed to keep Bill from seeing the real me and had bound me in a stronghold.
A friend came to the altar to pray with me. She bent down and asked if she could help carry my burdens. I broke when she said this because I had yet to share with anyone what I was going through.
I trusted her. She was a dear, older friend who had so much grace and wisdom. I knew it was safe to expose my heart to her. She moved my hair from my face, wiped my tears, and shared this scripture with me:
“But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My name may be declared in all the earth.” Exodus 9:16
She explained that God is the source of the power, not me and not Wonder Woman. I had made Wonder Woman an idol in place of God while trying to be who “she” is.
Wow…that hit me like a ton of bricks!
Hearing this caused me to repent. I realized that Wonder Woman had to die. I say this with a chuckle now, but at that time it was tough. In my mind, she and I had become one in the same; but, now it was time for her to go. It took work, but she did die and the burden and “the name” were lifted right off my shoulders.
I still have my birthday cards with her name on them as a reminder of God’s amazing power.
We all want to do good for our husbands while they are away. It’s our desire to welcome them home with a clean house, almost-clean kids, and a clean heart. If my friend had not spoken to me when she did, I know that in time this could have turned my heart against Bill. I praise God that He sent someone to me just at the right time!
Are you walking in affliction (something that causes pain and suffering)? Maybe your story is just like mine or completely different. Either way, affliction is still affliction. A scripture reference keeps coming to my thoughts that wants to be heard.
Paul was so afflicted by many things and yet in his affliction he reaches out to remind us of who we are in Christ!
“We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So then death is working in us, but life in you”. 2 Corinthian 48-12
Praying for you to be free from affliction in Jesus Name,
♥ Cherie
Image credit: free images at read.dccomics
.com
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