The past six months have been the toughest on my relationship with my husband! Mainly due to the total shift of responsibilities; my husband has always been a hard worker and provider. However, after the last lay off and extenuating circumstances, he finds himself still out of work!
I am now the bread winner for the family! I have had to learn how to give my husband space to acclimate to his new environment. I even had to give him advice, as well as teach him how to do things I used to around the house.
The challenge for me has been to NOT disrespect or demean him while in his new role but I had to remind myself to show respect of his work in the home the same way I wanted it from him. I have also had to be patient with him, by not nagging him about being unemployed; that was not always easy. For a few weeks I thought I would lose it; I had to remember that my attitude during my circumstances would either help this time go by better or make it worse! One time I had to repent from saying, “I hate this place” (four people living in a hotel room) not fun! However, my needs where met and God was using me to accomplish it; what an honor but what stress! Especially when we did not have a car, God still provided! I have been amazed at how God has met my needs and those he chose to use! My husband has seen my faith stay constant! I had to stop looking at him while he was experiencing the valley, and just look at God because I wanted to be the example for him! I wanted God to be able shine through me and encourage my husband’s faith.
One time my husband said……
“Sometimes I think God only sees and hears you”
this was heart breaking for me to hear! I have chosen to use this time to become a stronger wife while drawing closer to God and reminding myself that this is my season to work and my husband’s season to rest.
I hope this brief glimpse into this season of my life has inspired you to respect your husband during hard times. Our husbands have feelings too; it’s just harder for some to share than others. I have a brief testimony that may encourage you during your season! This past weekend we were coming out of Wal-Mart and while riding in the car on the way to our new home, James says to me, “Thank you for taking care of me!” WOW, that was huge for me to hear! I almost cried; everything has been worth it, just to hear him say that to me!
Building strong marriages together,
Leanne Collins
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The following are a few verses to further encourage you:
Find A Prayer Partner to help lift your hands
But Moses’ hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and Hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. And Joshua discomfited Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword. And the LORD said unto Moses, Write this for a memorial in a book, and rehearse it in the ears of Joshua: for I rehearse it in the ears of Joshua: for I will utterly put out the remembrance of Amalek from under heaven. And Moses built an altar, and called the name of it Jehovahnissi: For he said, because the LORD hath sworn that the LORD will have war with Amalek from generation to generation. (Exodus 17:12-14)
Trust & Rest
Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon me you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28)
Stay Focused
Finally, brethren whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (Philippians 4:8)
I do not think I have ever felt closer to you, Leanne. I have been called to this walk also. My husband has not worked for years and has a physical condition that has altered our married life. But, as you have so truthfully stated, the Lord has shown Himself faithful through every challenge.
Just this morning, the enemy was trying to use the nitty gritty to get me to focus on “my situation.” I had to choose to battle! The truth of the Word WON! Hallelujah!
Encouraging for sure 🙂 I loved that you said “our husbands have feelings too” I think sometimes it’s easy to forget that just because they are men doesn’t mean they don’t feel and love deeply. They do !! Thank you for sharing your heart 🙂
Thank you ladies for your encouraging words they mean a lot! Sorry it took me so long to respond! I just moved into an apartment! Praise the Lord and just re connected to the Internet!