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Have you experienced Foot Meet Mouth syndrome? Bill was nearing retirement and trying to figure out what he wanted to do after the Navy. He had thrown “many” ideas at me, but none that he was sticking to. One day he said, “What do you think about me becoming a teacher?” I had just gone through my career path in college and knew that a teacher’s salary starts around $32,000. I told him that wouldn’t be enough to cover our bills and give us a life.
A Few Months Later
Bill and our boys were talking about their decisions concerning what they are going to do after high school. One of them talked about becoming a teacher and Bill said, “That won’t pay your bills son.” I knew as soon as he had said it that I was wrong when I spoke so hastily before. I should have listened to him, I mean really listened to him and looked into his heart. I apologized, but he said it didn’t matter. I knew I had hurt him. I felt like a fool. I was so frustrated that he couldn’t make up his mind that I didn’t count the cost before I spoke.
Anyone who has been married for any length of time realizes that there are things that are better left unsaid. A wife has the ability to hurt her husband more deeply than anyone else can, and he can do the same to her. No matter how much one apologizes, the words cannot be erased. They can only be forgiven and that is not always easy. There are moments when the words we say will only hinder the flow of what God wants to do, and it’s best to keep quiet and pray!
It’s been a few years since I’ve learned this lesson
It took Bill a good amount of time before he felt safe to share his thoughts with me again. The other night he asked the question, “Do you think a Christian can be a conservationist at the same time?” I knew instantly what he was asking and told him, “Yes, hon, I do and I think we need more of them.” Later that night he shared with me a deep desire to pursue schools for this and had even looked at career paths for this line of work.
I’ve learned from my mistake and sensitive to not make the same one again when given the chance. Thank you Lord for second chances and the wisdom to learn from them. Do you have a story? I’d love to hear it in comments. Adding your voice adds richness to our conversation.
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Let’s Pray
Father, I lift up every marriage to you this morning. Give wisdom to each wife for every mistake she has made. Create in us a safe place for our husbands to land. Help us to see that we don’t know everything, even when we think we do, and to learn when to hold our tongues. We thank you, Lord, that you are our provider and we don’t have to look to others or things to fulfill this need. Nor do we need to be anxious or fearful. Help us to trust you with every need we have. We love you Lord! In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen.
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I have definitely experienced this recently. My husband came home with some exciting information about an opportunity for career change (one he had always been interested in), and I was quick to think only of the negative impact on my time with him should that happen. His response showed me immediately I was wrong to react so negatively: “I am surprised that all I got from you was was criticism”. I too am thankful for second chances from God AND from my husband!! ❤️
Michelle, so glad that didn’t go to a negative place. The Lord’s grace abounds in our lives, even when we don’t take the time to see what He is doing for us. Second chances are a gift for sure. Thank you for sharing a little of your story with us today. <3
Joe and I are not married yet. But, in this season of our relationship we are beginning to see the wounds inflicted by our previous spouses. Most often it was words spoken to us.
This week he was struggling emotionally. He shared with me the struggles he was having. I found myself in regular prayer those two days to say words to build him up. I could see my words could wound him deeply if I chose to say the wrong things. So, when he shared his heart with me with tear filled eyes, I truly didn’t know what to say. I wanted to be able to say the perfect thing to take his pain away. But I couldnt. I know there is no magic fix.
So with my own tear filled eyes and heart I told him I was sorry for his pain and I wished I could take it away. I asked him what he needed from me.
His answer was simple.
“Just love me through this. You can’t fix it.”
And that is such a good lesson in all of our relationships. Sometimes we don’t need answers. We just need to love eachother in spite of our circumstances.
I am so grateful for being equally yoked. Finally.
Thank you, God for blessing me with this kind, loving and Godly man.