4-11-2014 8-12-25 AMThese words slipped passed my lips the other evening, “My life is like being on a treadmill, you run and run and get nowhere.”

Job describes this feeling perfectly in the following scripture…..

“My life is speeding by, without a hope of happiness. Each day passes swifter than a sailing ship or an eagle swooping down. Sometimes I try to be cheerful and to stop complaining.” (Job 9:25-27)

Anybody else ever feel this way? I dislike that feeling; I know as a follower of Christ I have nothing to be discontent or unhappy about, but some days it’s a struggle to be cheerful. I want to be stable and consistent with joy; despite the mood of my husband or the behavior of my daughter.  I want to remain in joy, happiness, and peace to create the atmosphere of our home.

I have told you this to make you as completely happy as I am.” (John 15:11)

So where was my joy? Better yet, “Where was my faith?” Where was my hope of happiness?

Disappointment and despair are fruits of idolatry, so what was I putting my faith in? In what was I abiding in?  Was it with my clean house, my well behaved child, money in the bank, my weight, my husband? If it’s in anything, but God then my happiness will not last, we were made for God, He is the only one that is strong enough, satisfying enough and great enough for us to throw the full weight of our faith at. 

Faith is the gaze of the soul toward that which is the hope of happiness leading to demonstration of commitment and trust!

For a great portion of my life my hope for happiness was my weight and in high school it was starving myself because I truly believed my weight determined whether or not I was accepted. As an adult my weight shifted and I struggled with food due to over indulging. Food was my God for a very long time, and my weight was where I had placed my faith. When my marriage started struggling I tried with all my might to lose weight because I really truly believed that if I could just lose weight my marriage would be ok. My husband would be proud of me, desire me, enjoy me etc.

I would lose weight, but it never changed anything, it brought happiness only for the moment and then came disappointment, which sent me back to food, and the cycle continued.

Only when the full weight of my faith is resting in Christ do I find contentment, joy, and true happiness. HE is the only ONE worth trusting, HE is the only ONE able to come through for us! I believe on days like the other day the fruit of my idolatry is shining through, if I feel unattractive, if I have been out of control with my eating or not been able to get to the gym, my joy dissipates and I become sad because I fear gaining weight, and that would just ruin the progress in my marriage. If I can’t keep the house clean or keep Autumn behaved then I have failed in some way. These are all of course lies from the enemy but sometimes we don’t see it until God reveals it.

God came through; He shook me awake again, gently grabbed my face and redirected my attention back to Him.

Truly, I tell you, only when I am placing my full hope in my Lord do I experience lasting joy and happiness, it’s a daily dying to self, but even on the hard days, even when I get distracted and old habits creep back in, I have a God who loves me so deeply that He shakes me awake and brings me back into HIS arms, He rescues me from the hand of my enemy.

Where is your faith? Where is your hope of happiness? Is it your family, finding a husband, having children, a career, or losing weight?

Sisters we have a source of faith greater than the greatest possession, or the greatest achievement. He came for us; in our sin He came to us! To wash us, justify us and sanctify us.

Thirty sinners, come to Jesus, He is the ocean. The only one strong enough to carry the full weight of your faith!

Remember the following……

“But no one who drinks the water I give will ever be thirsty again. The water I give is like a flowing

fountain that gives eternal life.” (John 4:14)

Building strong marriages together,

Ashley Ladd