4-30-2014 9-02-46 AMHave you ever tried to fix some unruly hair? I am sure you have, if you are a breathing, living soul. Even men have hair sometimes that will not obey. I was trying to fix my hair the other morning and it was doing its own thing. I thought why not work with it instead of against it? So I did just that.

The Holy Spirit brought something to mind as I was doing this. Why do I try to “fix” my husband to how I want him? Ouch! I am guilty of trying to change how my husband is. I know I am not the only one who does this, and I know most of us mean well. Still, it’s not very pleasing to God or healthy for our marriage.

Have you ever looked at our husband and think if only…. and then start filling in the blanks?

We think that things would be so much better if they would just act just how we desire them too. Instead of working with them, we work against them. That is so displeasing to the Lord and it really discourages and hurts our husbands.

God designed our husbands, just like He designed us and He wants us to love them. That isn’t too say that they are flawless or lack growing, but it isn’t for us to fix them. God would rather us pray for them. When someone wants you change something, would you want them be harsh and nag, or would you rather them say it once and then pray about it? When we constantly stay on our husbands about this or that it can really be hurtful and the enemy can bring all sorts of lies to mind.

I think of the verse in I Peter 3 where it talks about having a meek and quiet spirit. If we are constantly nagging then we definitely aren’t being quiet or meek. We’re like a clanging symbol and have no love.

We should pray for the Holy Spirit to reveal things to our husband that God wants them to know about themselves and we should also pray for ourselves. Sometimes it may just be a habit that annoys us that our husband does. Maybe we are the one that needs changing.

“It’s easy to point the finger, but it’s a lot harder to look in the mirror.” 

Instead of working against our men, let’s work with them. It’s okay to bring something to their attention, but let’s not be rude or nag them. God wants our marriage to flourish and that does mean that both of us will have some changing to do. The Holy Spirit can speak to us and our husbands if we will pray for one another.


Let’s take a moment to pray! 

Lord, we thank You for our husbands and that You designed them fearfully and wonderfully made. Thank You that they are strong. We thank You that we have the ability to encourage them and to love them as You wish. Give us the desire to love them as You do and the desire to encourage them as You desire Help us to remember to always to pray for them and to be the wives that You desire.

In Jesus Name, Amen

Building strong marriages together,

Heather Strickland