If I had the chance, I would sit down with you, make you a cup of tea and spill my mistakes in marriage. In essence, I would share my story with you. I wouldn’t stop there though. I know that it is only because of God’s mercy that I have a thriving marriage and family today.
Bill and I have been married for twenty two years and we honestly look forward to loving each other for as long as God gives us. It wasn’t always this way though. Four years into our marriage Bill told me in a phone call that he wanted a divorce. I had received salvation just a few months before this and he felt I was changing to much for his liking. He didn’t enjoy me any more and was no longer happy in our relationship. I hung up the phone and went straight to God with it. In that pivotal moment of my life, God asked me a powerful question,
“Will you run or will you stay and fight?”
Run is what I always did when things got to hard emotionally for me. I ran to music and hid in it for hours. Or I would run away literally -ending the relationship that was being impacted. But this time was different. This time God was asking me if I would stay. I wanted to stay. I wanted to fight, but I didn’t know how. I had failed so many times before. My past includes a divorce and 3 children that were hurt by my failures. God promised me that He would teach me how to fight but it would have to be His way and not my own. I said yes and He started me on the journey that I have called Boot Camp for so long.
That day started a fight I had never walked through before. During my own personal boot camp my heart was shattered. My faith was tested. My identity was ripped to pieces. It seemed that nothing was safe. Even then, I still chose to stay in the fight because God had given me a vision of what my marriage could look like at the end of my journey. Bill fought against me with everything he had within him. He yelled at me more than he talked to me. He made me feel like I was worth nothing and my life had no value with him. He attacked every area of me including how I was raising our children and the type of wife I was becoming. One day in a fit of anger he threw his wedding ring out the door and told me, “My life ended the day I married you!”
These were days I just wanted to stop figthing and run away. My heart could not take any more. Giving him what he wanted had to be easier than what I was enduring. It was on one of these days that God said the following words to me,
“Be still and know that I am God.”
Those words turned into thousands instantly as the Holy Spirit began to teach me what they meant. This happened many times over the course of fighting for my marriage. What I learned is so valuable that my marriage was saved!!
Can you relate to me on some level? Have you been through something like this in your own marriage? Have you thought about giving up and giving in? I want to encourage you to stay in just a little longer. This blog is set apart to share what I have learned that works and doesn’t work through my Online Marriage Boot Camp classes and blog posts. The ending of your marriage doesn’t have to happen. If you are willing to give God a season of your life, I am willing to teach you how to stand strong and fight the way God has designed us to. Today, Bill and I are strong and our life is full as God has used my season of Boot Camp to teach me many more lessons since then.
My background ~
I knows what it’s like to be an imperfect wife and I’m well aware that my past would have been my future if it had not been for God’s intervention in my life and my obedience to follow His voice. I wasn’t always obedient. I resisted God in the beginning because He was asking me to change first. I felt enough change was happening in me and Bill was the one God needed to concentrate on. What I didn’t know then is God wasn’t just teaching me how to fight for my marriage -He was getting me ready to fight for marriages all over the world. My mission is to challenge you to take a stand for your marriage and then teach you how God has designed us to love our husbands during the challenges we all face in marriage. My marriage is a living testimony of God’s “Grace Grace” (Zechariah 4). Your marriage can be turned around and restored as well. But you have to be willing to listen to voice of the Holy Spirit and change as He directs you to. He will ask you to do some hard things (I have a long long list myself). Change is good, especially when God uses it to drawn us closer to Him.
No matter where your marriage stands, I want to encourage you that God is big enough to not just help you stay married but to also teach you how to enjoy a blessed marriage for a lifetime. I know that I have to be very candid in sharing everything I have learned through trial, error, and prayer to turn my strained and struggling marriage around. I can help you through it. You just have to willing to try!
My family ~
Bill and I have four children: a daughter, Samantha, twin boys, Bobby and Troy, and our youngest, James. Our family as a whole has been given the greatest gift of all, the understanding of unconditional love through Samantha who was born with cerebral palsy and a seizure disorder. No matter how many mistakes we make with her, she loves us with the purest heart and has taught us that love and forgiveness are new every morning.